Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
