I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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