through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
