I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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