yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
