He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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