Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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