I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize