So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
