My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
