he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize