i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
