I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Do you have feelings for this penis?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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