Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
