There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
