i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Randomize
