i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
