But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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