You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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