She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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