I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
