used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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