I have demons in me.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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