3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
