Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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