I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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