Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
