I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
