I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
