She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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