I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
