The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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