sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
