Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
