At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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