He kissed a someone with a penis
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
