did you get engaged???
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
