If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
