OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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