I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
you never un-have a 4some
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
