genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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