fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
