It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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