is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
The uberlube is also flammable
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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