He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
