you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
