i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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