He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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