Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
