zippers are such a cool invention
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Randomize
