so let's talk penis.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
