dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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