Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
