Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
