Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize