Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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