I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
