chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
