I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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