hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
