i would punch a child for taco bell
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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