At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
