bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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