the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
